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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147797">Smile Like You Mean It</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highsmith/pseuds/Highsmith'>Highsmith</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Hill House (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Intergenerational Trauma, Trauma, Yuletide 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:35:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highsmith/pseuds/Highsmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Theo realises what they are.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Theodora "Theo" Crain &amp; Eleanor "Nell" Crain &amp; Luke Crain &amp; Steven Crain, Theodora "Theo" Crain &amp; Steven Crain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Yuletide 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Smile Like You Mean It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolahaze/gifts">lolahaze</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from The Killers.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Theo realises what they are.</p><p>Or, more accurately, what's happened to them, which is not out of the realm of possibilities given everything. This could have happened. The fact that it did is shocking, but certainly not a surprise.</p><p>It's more or less that they can't leave the property that clues them in.</p><p>Luke says, "But I thought that..." upon realising it himself, trailing off powerlessly.</p><p>And Steven adds, "But I saw..." trailing off when there's nowhere to take that thought, brother until the end.</p><p>And Nell is there with them, which is the tragic part, the part that wounds most of all, because she shouldn't have to be here with them, for the five of them to be here together, only. It's not five. Shirley is standing a little ways behind them, staring at them strangely.</p><p>"You didn't—"</p><p>And what is there to say? But Theo says it. "We didn't," and she misses her like crazy already. Like nothing you should ever miss, not that badly. More than she thought she would ever miss anyone ever. And she's standing right there, but Theo doesn't have the words.</p><p>Steven does. He's always been good with words.</p><p>"Shirl."</p><p>She crumbles. Theo watches her. It's not a bodily fall to the ground, but it's near enough.</p><p>*</p><p>Shirley has to leave. They can't. It's messed up.</p><p>Luke is staring at walls, Nell by his side. The anger has faded to a dull throb within Theo's chest, but she bets it's going to flare up later. It won't do much good. Unending anger with no valve, no goal. It's going to decimate her, but here we are.</p><p>Steven is talkative, but Theo is barely listening until he actually says, "There's got to be a way out of this."</p><p>Which is so immensely stubborn and stupid she nearly laughs at the absurdity of it.</p><p>"Are you hearing yourself?"</p><p>Honestly, she thought such ideas would be gone gone gone once they were, uh, gone, but apparently not, and, apparently, Steven hasn't fully learnt his lesson out of all of this. Not that Theo necessarily has, and not that any of them had a lesson to learn per se, that's not the way it works, but it is noteworthy that he's still regurgitating this same schtick he's had for a long while now.</p><p>He can't fix the world. Neither can Theo. None of them can.</p><p>"Come on," Luke says in the awkward silence between them. He sounds tired, though not utterly broken, which should count for something.</p><p>Nell seems to be listening, somewhat, but she's very vague. And Theo can't blame her. This vagueness is starting to come over her as well. It's time running at a different pace. A different everything. It's not exactly how she imagined it, but it's not like she had a clear idea or a reference point when it came to being dead. Which they all are now. Shirley promised she would come back, and Theo can faintly feel their parents somewhere inside this house of theirs, and maybe Nell is the welcoming committee, but Theo can't say that she wants to meet everyone else, get comfortable or deal with this just yet.</p><p>The anger is still there. It's still simmering. It's not everything, she won't let it, but it's there.</p><p>"What is it?" Steven finally asks when it's clear Luke isn't providing any other information.</p><p>Theo realises it first. Or, at least, that's how it feels, but she can't be sure any of this is happening in the order in which she's perceiving it, so it might be something else entirely, but Nell says, "Time runs differently, but I think the old ways are still lingering," and Theo admits to herself that it's them but it's also not them. Not the ones that died just now, a few hours ago, if it's even been hours—could have been days and months and years—but Luke is not so much younger as a different version of himself, the most apparent. And Theo sees it and thinks, <i>Ah, I see, it's more complicated than ever</i>, or thoughts to that effect.</p><p>Out loud she says, "This is messed-up. How much more trauma can we revisit?"</p><p>"A memory can be just a memory," Nell says, and then, "in time."</p><p>And they do have all the time they could ever want for the pain to turn. Fucking great.</p><p>Theo heads inside when the anger reaches a boiling point.</p><p>*</p><p>She avoids everyone else. Her parents must want to come to her, she tells herself, but they stay away.</p><p>Steven finds her. It's an odd choice, but she's had <i>a day</i>, so she is more than willing to accept this at face value for whatever value of fucked-up this is.</p><p>"I'm not the best at comforting people."</p><p>"Good to know," she snaps. She could have been meaner.</p><p>"But it's done."</p><p>She turned her head to the side to look him in the face. "You've changed your tune."</p><p>And he says, "It's been an enlightening however much it's been."</p><p>That serves to confirm the fact that Theo's been pondering how, even though they've all been together and then she stormed off and not much else happened, that it's entirely possible there's more time fuckery afoot. It's not ideal, but she's reasonably certain she isn't supposed to care in the least. Dead people don't care. Then again, Nell cared. A lot. She still cares.</p><p>She leans her back against the wall again and stares in front of her. At one point, Steven leaves.</p><p>*</p><p>She joins them for whatever passes as hanging out time in the kitchen. It's a bunch of people around a table talking while not really talking. Nell comes to her and drags her over by the hand.</p><p>"I wasn't sure you'd come."</p><p>Theo might want to snap about not really having a choice, but she has an inkling that's not the point either.</p><p>"Yeah, I came," and sits herself down and thinks about how the pattern on the teakettle in the middle of the table is quite beautiful.</p><p>Can they make tea? Not that Theo wants any. Not that they could drink it. Could they? But, regardless, these are questions she'd like to find an answer to at some point.</p><p>But there's a first question. "What now?" she asks.</p><p>Luke chews his lips. Steven opens and closes his mouth a couple of times without any words coming out. Nell says, for herself and for them, "We wait."</p><p>Theo has never been particularly good at waiting, but it's never too late to start. Time's on their side, as they say.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ETA 2021/01/01 My Tumblr: <a href="https://rhubarbdreams.tumblr.com/">rhubarbdreams</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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